Sunday, September 26, 2010

The third and FINAL stage of a break-up

As my dear readers, you are well aware that I've been through a tough break-up. I shared it because (1) writing is my way of expressing and, in most cases, dealing with things I'm not good at talking about, and (2) I thought I'd share the ups and downs in the hope to help someone else out there. As I explained to you before, there are 3 stages in a break-up, apparently.

The first stage is all about denial. You believe things will get better and you hang on to any little string of hope to reconcile. The worst part is moving out of your comfort zone and adjusting to the major change. Everything is still unrealistic, until you reach the second stage. Everything sinks in and you go on this major, really really crap, emotional rollercoaster ride filled with heartbreak, anger, regret, depression and more heartbreak. Does it get worse? Yes, because you're stuck in this stage for a couple of months and nothing that anybody tells you, will make you feel better. You don't want a shoulder or advice. You want a solution. I've just been through it all and when things got really bad, I numbed it with alcohol. People say this doesn't work, well, it worked for me.

Today I can finally look back at these stages and at the relationship, and I can really accept it's over. The tears, the suffering, the fights, the pain and the uncertainty is over. After all, the final stage of a break-up is all about acceptance and moving on. Even though I hate single life, I can finally do things for myself. I can finally embrace my impulsive side! I've fetched the last of my stuff from the ex, I've learnt valuable life lessons, I've said my goodbyes, I've got a plan in motion, I'm doing things young people are supposed to be doing, I'm discovering myself again and I'm claiming back my independence. None of this was easy, but it was worth it.

The best part of this stage? I have a chance at love again. A fresh beginning with someone else. Which is exactly what I'm doing. Yes, it's only been a couple of months and everything is still raw. Some people have even told me that it's too soon to start dating again. Truth is, there are no rules. The heart knows what it wants. Besides, all of us deserve to be happy. And I finally am.

Always remember, whatever you face in life and whatever challenges you have, time does heal all wounds. What ever is meant to happen, will. You will feel super down and you will feel like your world has fallen apart. Trust me, it changes when someone else comes along and sweeps you off your feet. It happened to me when I least expected it, so it will happen to you. Then we will never look back.


(Image found here)


  1. WOW what an inspirational post!much needed words for me right now!


  2. It's written from my heart, so it's the honest truth! Be strong!